100 Things that Restrict my Awesome
by TeutonicFlower
Summary: 100 things that West requires I do if I'm to come to the meetings. ...How uncool.


Puroisen: ...I really don't have an excise for this one. I'm a little disappointed in myself that it wasn't more Prussian. I had a MUCH better one written on paper that was soooo much funnier, but I couldn't find it and was forced to re-start. -sigh- Ah, well, such is life. Always trying to bring the Awesome ones down. Enjoy.

**EDIT:** Soo... there was a small error in the numbers. All fixed now

**

* * *

  
**

**100 Things that Restrict my Awesome**

1. Attending a World Meetings is a privilege, not a requirement.  
2. Especially since I'm not an nation anymore.  
3. Bringing up the fact that I'm East Germany isn't a valid excuse.  
4. Asking West why he hasn't invaded Italy's Vital Regions when he asks if anyone has questions is frowned upon.  
5. Even if it makes him sputter and turn funny colours.  
6. It isn't funny.  
7. To him.  
8. Hungary, on the other hand...  
9. She'll want copies of the pictures (and video.)  
10. Which I am happy to provide.  
11. Stealing Russia's coat and scarf "just to spite him" isn't funny.  
12. Discussing how I kicked Austria's ass in history is forbidden.  
13. Especially during his presentations.  
14. Even if it's true.  
15. Stopping the meeting "because I want pancakes" is not an acceptable reason.  
16. No matter what I think, no one else agrees.  
17. Except Canada.  
18. Which doesn't help, because no one remembers him other than me, anyway.  
19. Sending Gilbird to attack France is considered rude.  
20. Even if England and America encourage it.  
21. Accepting bribes of land from Greece to set Gilbird on Turkey is not acceptable, either.  
22. Even though that feather is tempting.  
23. Uttering the words "Five Meters" is strictly prohibited and will result in my removal from the room.  
24. Even if it's in a debate with Greece about who is bigger.  
25. Stopping the meeting to talk about my "Awesome" is also not an acceptable reason.  
26. No matter what I think, no one cares.  
27. I am not allowed to claim Austria's Vital Regions in the middle of meetings because I'm bored.  
28. Even if he wants it.  
29. Which he insists he doesn't.  
30. When he totally does.  
31. Using Hungary's frying pan to make the aforementioned pancakes will most likely piss her off.  
32. However, if I promise to let her film me and Austria, a compromise can be reached.  
33. Austria's arguments in this case are invalid.  
34. Getting the Bad Touch Trio together is forbidden.  
35. No matter what.  
36. Tying up Romano and shouting, "What is this, the Spanish inquisition!?" is considered cruel and unusual.  
37. Even if Spain thanks me for it.  
38. Tying up France and telling Russia that he wants to become one with him is a Very Bad Idea.  
39. Playing Phantom of the Opera music when Turkey walks into the room is not allowed.  
40. Even if Greece pays well for it.  
41. Due to recent events, the term "Vital Regions" is also forbidden in the meeting room.  
42. As is the claiming of any, no matter what the circumstances.  
43. Setting Spain's turtles lose in the conference room is not funny, it takes hours to find them all.  
44. Hours.  
45. Poking Hungary's chest to prove she's a woman is in ill-taste.  
46. It won't end well.  
47. For me.  
48. No one wants to hear about Old Fritz.  
49. Tricking younger nations into signing their land over to me is forbidden.  
50. Throwing the plush pandas China sold me at his head is forbidden.  
51. Even if he deserves it.  
52. Touching Finland is a bad idea.  
53. Very, very, bad.  
54. Asking for his Vital Regions is an even worse idea.  
55. Especially if Sweden is sitting next to him.  
56. Or within arm's reach.  
57. ...Or within the same country.  
58. I am not a country anymore, thus my suggestions are invalid.  
59. Even if they are Awesome.  
60. Most likely, no one else will think so.  
61. Making Austria late after the lunch beak is not acceptable for any reason.  
62. Any reason.  
63. Unless Hungary gets copies.  
64. Touching Mariazell is forbidden.  
65. Calling Russia a "Commie Bastard" is not allowed.  
66. Touching the Italys' curls is also forbidden.  
67. Even if I ask nicely.  
68. Making molotov cocktails out of Russia's vodka is strictly forbidden and will result in a permanent ban from the G8 building.  
69. I am not allowed to make a crack at this number.  
70. No matter who I ask for Vital Regions, the answer is always no.  
71. It is still no the second time.  
72. And the twelfth.  
73. Unless it's Austria.  
74. And I didn't mean land that time.  
75. Asking Hungary for hers is just a bad idea in general.  
pans fucking hurt.  
77. Petting Latvia without is permission is a violation of personal space.  
78. And will result in a special visit from Russia.  
79. Editing West's powerpoint while he's asleep to show embarrassing pictures of him as a child is not funny.  
80. No matter how cute the pictures might be.  
81. If China asks me to buy anything, I am to say "no" and walk away.  
82. Austira's cheeks are not to be pinched.  
83. Or stretched.  
poked.  
85. Touching Austria in the meeting room in general is forbidden.  
86. Especially under the table.  
87. Beer is not an acceptable refreshment during a meeting.  
88. It doesn't matter if Hungary agrees with me.  
89. No one wants to see my blog or the pictures on it.  
90. Especially the people in them.  
91. Especially West, who was most definitely "NOT" kissing Italy. Right.  
92. Diving under the table and screaming when England brings out his lunch is disruptive and only funny the first time.  
93. Having face-making contests with Poland is distracting.  
94. Siccing Belarus on Russia is considered politically incorrect, and therefore I should not do it.  
95. Even if it's fucking hilarious.  
96. Just because I am awesome does not exempt me from the rules below.  
97. Even if I am the most Awesome thing to walk the earth.  
98. No ones cares.  
99. Kesesesesese. I don't have anything to go here.  
100. I'm just more awesome than the others.  
101. So I get more numbers.  
102. I am so fucking awesome! Seriously! Like a little bird!


End file.
